Day 267: A Fairy Tale Gone Wrong

A Fairy Tale Gone Wrong
Matt Zurbo


River ate some magic beans,
but not the magic she wanted.
the second they went down,
her bottom sort of opened!

She pulled a face or three,
then let loose a fart,
so mighty, oh so rank,
its smell was off the chart!

Then, every day,
at exactly 5 past 4,
the time she ate those beans,
her bum began to roar!

As the moment approached,
nearer to 3.55,
all River’s friends left her,
as if running for their lives.

Then, depending on the wind,
and a quick change of clothes,
River’s friends drifted back,
cautiously holding their nose.

Soon a preacher started up;
“That smell does not belong!
Evil, evil, evil!”
he ranted like a song.

A lot of people joined him,
even if not knowing why.
He ranted, so they raged,
a mob thundering by.

“Good grief! Those magic beans!”
River rolled her eyes.
“They make me want to scream!
They make me want to cry!”

Eventually poor, cursed River,
found a friend in a garbage can,
the garbo’s son always smelled
as much as his old man.

You don’t mind me, I don’t mind you,”
the boy thoughtfully pondered.
“Let’s achieve great things!”
And just like that they bonded.

First they made doubly sure,
to be near the mean preacher,
when 4.05 came around,
to prove he was a stinker!

Then they both set about
turning River’s curse around!
Finding whoever lost the beans,
that little River found.

They asked a shadow, then a ghoul,
who pointed them to a fairy,
who showed them a beanstalk,
which climbing was very scary.

They were whispered to by a fox,
then climbed over cloud rocks,
as 4.05 passed,
with a fart that rotted socks!

Finally, they met a giant,
or at least that’s what he said.
A small giant, just their size,
he pointed to his head.

“Yes, the beans were mine!”
he happily confessed.
“What a gift you got!!
Those beans were Heaven sent.”

“Up here a fart is golden.
Each one has its owner’s mark.
A trumpet squeak, and big bass drum,
A long, flat, raspy skid mark!”

“We talk with them, and sing songs,
up and down the clouds,
a really big, wet stinker,
makes it’s owner proud!”

“Best of all!” he gloated,
“by a country mile;
If you light a match…
BOOM!” he gave a smile.

River, sick of laughter,
teased up to her gills,
wanted to rent her farts,
as a weapon that kills!

“Just one match,” she planned,
lit at just the right time,
and I will blast your enemies,
with my burning behind!”

“No, no, no!” the garbo’s boy wailed.
“Can’t you see your glass is half full?
Invite all your friends around,
when clouds are black and still…”

Then he explained his plan,
to River with delight,
so her farts might be
seen in a better light.

Next time a storm brewed,
and big clouds blotted the sun,
River climbed the beanstalk,
promising much fun.

Everyone gathered,
no idea what to expect.
Looking up at a sky,
about to make them wet.

“Okay, River said,”
as the clock ticked 4.04,
and garbo boy lit a match,
where the eagles sore.

Up in the land of giants,
River’s fart went BOOM!
Which set of every giant’s
stinky bottom perfume!

Explosion after explosion,
of every shape and size,
down on the ground it seemed,
lightening filled the skies.

It ROARED and shook the ground!
A spectacular never seen,
sights never before found.

And, running hard through
the tumble and flash,
River and the garbo’s boy,
riding the big crash.

Behind them, it rained giants,
oh, what a mighty sight!
each one’s bottom burning,
laughing with delight.

Flatulence being their thing,
this was a brilliant joke!
“If you can’t laugh at your farts,
you’re spiritually broke!”  

But, the people on the ground,
cold not escape their fears,
soon enough conflict broke out,
chaos far and near.

People and giants fighting,
lightening everywhere!
A curse girl, a garbo’s child,
drama filling the air.

“Come on all you lot!”
the garbo’s boy despaired.
“Making such a fuss,
does not seem very fair!”  

Soon, everybody stopped,
feeling kind of silly,
that such a brilliant show,
made them all quite dizzy.

Soon they laughed, too,
the giants played a tune,
each and every person,
dancing under the moon.

Thanks to a little curse,
a fairy tale gone wrong.
Making everybody happy,
as it should have all along.



The End


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