Day 36: Bare Bums and Tartan Pants


Bare Bums and Tartan Pants
Matt Zurbo


Once there was a pair of pants,
that didn’t need an owner.
They ran here, they ran there,
Zoom, they ran all over!

They didn’t need socks or shoes,
or even a fine belt,
they had a tartan pattern,
and patches made of felt.

Kids would stop in their tracks,
gasp and look in awe.
Pow, zam, whoosh, zip!
Pants running by their door!

Soon enough with everybody
wondering what was next,
a hippy boy left his home
refusing to be dressed.

The pants walked up to him,
but he pushed them away.
“I’m naked now,” he proudly said.
“And that is how I’ll stay!”

The pants were determined,
the kid ran, horror on his face!
Thus began the weirdest,
funniest ever race.

The kid was way out front,
but the pants soon gained ground.
running through traffic, markets,
sprinting all around!

Closer and closer the pants got
to the naked, frightened kid,
“No way am I wearing tartan!”
he protested, then quickly hid.

The pants had many tricks, though,
in their two back pockets.
A stethoscope, binoculars,
two little red flair rockets!

Soon a polka dotted shirt
joined in the crazy race,
followed by a loud tie,
chasing him all around the place!

Th kid leapt up in a panic,
one last effort to not be bound,
but the pants were there waiting,
when he returned to ground.

A no-holds-barred wrestle
then somehow took place,
the kid knew he was beaten,
you could see it in his face.

“Oh no, help, I’m a geek!”
he furiously protested.
“This is all too much,
my patience has been bested!”

Then, to complete the picture,
a pair of glasses fell,
landing on his face,
prompting a mighty yell!

“Relax,” the kid then heard
his new zipper zip.
“We’ll teach you how to strut!
And have a dancing fit!”

Sure enough, walking home,
heart full of defeat,
the pants lifted and jerked,
making the boy tap both his feet.

At first his mum was angry,
he looked like an old op shop.
But soon they were dancing,
all around the clock!

The fun of it grew and grew,
until everybody joined in!
Not caring what others thought,
became the latest thing!
(Double page spread of everybody dressed uniquely, some in costumes, some casual, some super geeky, all dancing)

So completes the story,
of bare bums and tartan pants.
The area’s coolest cat,
that clothes taught how to dance!


The End

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