Day 86: Monster Pants

Monster Pants
Matt Zurbo


(Hairy monster, standing, its huge mouth is bending over startled human male in tartan pants and t-shirt.)

Me am monster.
Pants stuck in teeth.
Try on pants.
Pants look neat!
(Monster in human’s tartan pants.)

Other monsters “Grrr!”
Claws in air.
Say; “Pants no for us!”
Me no care.

Monsters no want me.
First me sad.
Me go humans.
Maybe then be glad.

Humans no scared.
Just laugh, lots.
Not me want.
So also wear socks.

Humans laugh more.
Me roar, roar!
Stupid humans run.
Out stupid door.

Me shave hair.
Try fit in.
Monsters “GGGRRRR!”
“No hair sin!”

Monsters angry.
Humans laughy-laugh.
Me LIKE pants!
Break me heart.

Buy lotto ticket.
Like do human.
Me win lotto.
2-3 million!
(Holding ticket, puzzled, pile of money around feet.)

Human want monster.
Monsters want, too.
Me enough had.
Me shout “BOO!”

Time me eat.
Munch, chomp, crunch!
Monsters for breakfast.
Humans for lunch.
(Same standing with comically large open mouth over three monsters, then over three humans.)

(Monster looking at pile of money.)

(Monster eating it.)

No more angry.
No more laugh.
Me and pants.
Happy at last.
(Monster walking away, whistling a tune.)



The End

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