Day 106: My Dad Elvis

My Dad Elvis
by
Matt Zurbo

I’m Frank and this is Vinnie. Our dad is Elvis.
Not the real one, though.
(Baby and young kid and Dad, who has blue singlet on, jeans, a bit skinny, but Elvis hair and sunglasses.)

The real Elvis was really famous.
He sung a lot of hits!
(Dad, with pointer, pointing to a screen with real Elvis singing. Elvis movie posters in the background. Frank on stool watching. Vinnie is eating a microphone.)
And did movies, too!

Our dad isn’t famous.
(Dad, in singlet, straining/pushing full wheelbarrow.)

Dad’s own songs are really good, but says Elvis is fun!
(Dad, dresses as Elvis. Doing pointing motion, other hand in air. Mum behind him, rolling eyes, cork in ears.)

Not many people watch Dad sing.
(Dad singing as Elvis in wrestling ring, one fat wrestler (The Perculator – orange bodysuit and mask, love heart on chest) and Johnny Snot (off-green tights) either side of him. Only two people in the crowd. Old lady sleeping. Frank is wide-eyed, watching. Vinnie is on ground, playing with a ball. Mum is a few rows back, reading)

Elvis had a stretch limo. Not us!
(Dad and boys taking the bus home. Dad standing, singing to people on the bus.)

THOUSANDS of singers around the world pretend to be Elvis!
(Page crammed with Elvis impersonators.)

They seem to like talent contests.
(Talent contest sandwich board. Big queue, ½ of them Elvis impersonators, tall and skinny, short, fat, hairy, various races, both sexes. Others; magician hypnotising a chook, little girl in tutu, dog balancing bone on its nose, construction worker with a guitar, etc. Dad and kids in queue.)

Dad says this could be his big break!
(Dad and kids on footpath, to the side/watching the weatherman, as his camera crew set up and someone does his makeup.)
Whoever wins to go on late, late, late night, almost morning TV, and sing behind the weather man!
Wow!

Relax, Dad, don’t be nervous!
(Dad nervously walking through backstage to stage, Vinnie on his shoulders, pulling his hair, Frank patting his back. Various contestants about.)

Yeah! So good!
(Dad rocking Elvis! Only about six people in crowd, but dancing, loving it, some booing… Frank wide-eyed, front row.)

Oh, no.
(Judges going crazy for dreary kid on the winner’s podium, juggling fish still in their bowls.)

Dad lost again.
(Dad rueful smile, Frank hugging him, Vinnie eating his guitar.)

Everyone at work says it was “Just bad luck!”
(Dad, back in singlet and work short and gumboots, still with Elvis hair and sunnies, pushing full wheelbarrow. Workers, passing florist, lady in window, etc, all smiling and waving and slapping him on the back.)

Dad’s day job is hard. He often talks about giving up being Elvis.
(Dad, dejected, work singlet and boots on, flopped, exhausted into sat at home, lunch box beside him, short hair, looking at dummy stand with his Elvis hairdo and glasses and cape.)

He better not, though!
(Frank climbing all over dad, Vinnie crawling between his legs.)
‘Cause when we grow up…

We’re gunna be Elvis impersonators, too!
(Baby Vinnie wearing Elvis cape. Frank wearing oversized hairdo and glasses. Both striking bad Elvis poses.)

The End.
(Dad and kids happily playing Elvis, Vinnie chewing on Dad’s White Elvis pants/leg. Mum happily smiling, sitting in seat, reading newspaper. (She is the grownup))