Day 160: Dragon Poo!

Dragon Poo!
by
Matt Zurbo

Nobody ever believed Devo.
(Kid standing in front of class with science smock on.)

With good reason, I guess.
“Today, for my science project, I am discussing the poo of mythical beings!”
(Devo using a pointer stick to point to silhouette image of a dragon + poo = ?)
Kids laughing at him.)

We all know the dragon.
But how many people know what they poo?

The Yeti does little sheep droplets.
Strange for such a beastly creature.
(Yeti roaring. Devo bending with magnifying glass to look at little poos.)

The man in the moon poos dust.

Neptune, God of the Seas, poos crabs!
Five times a day!

Some underwater scientists told me.
(Scientists with measuring devices and earphones, etc… running from/ducking crabs hurtling through the air.)

Vampires do normal poos, but they make funny face when they do.
That’s why they don’t have mirrors.

Unicorns poo rainbows.
Of course.
My kid sister said.
(Devo pointing with pointer stick at video footage of unicorn prancing, a series of small rainbows behind it. Kids in class rolling around, laughing.)

It’s a little known fact that pixies poo twice their weight each day!
So cute, so smelly!
(Pixie sitting on toilet, on cloud.. Rain and lightening coming out of cloud.)

And griffins not only poo fire, they then use it to stay warm.
(Griffen huddled, hands out, in front of burning poo.)

And, pick their noses.
(Griffin and Devo both pocking their noses.)
Legends.

Zombies read on the toilet.
Comics, mostly. They aren’t too bright.

Honestly, Miss, I can’t believe more people don’t study the little stuff about mythical beings!
(Devo looking, deadpan, up at teacher. Kids cheering him on.)

For my contribution, after extensive research…
(Devo surrounded by piles of books, interviewing medieval knight.)

trial,
(Running with umbrella, net out, goggles and snorkel on, looking up at flying dragon.)

and error,
(Covered in large poo.)

I discovered the natural ingredients of
knights,
magicians,
and fat cats,
(All of them looking ahead, blankly, as giant teeth start to overshadow them.)

make dragon poo super fertile!
(Devo, peg over nose, holding up wad of poo.)

(View from behind Devo of kids all wide-eyed, shocked.)

If you look close enough, you will notice that the plants growing from it are mythical, too.(Devo pointing to child’s drawing of poo with plants that are curly, winding vines, little Venus flytraps, growing eyes buds, etc… If you look close you can even see Jack climbing a beanstalk.)

As are the insects living off them.
(Diagram of weird insects, some with futuristic helmets, etc…)

If you get bitten by a bee that’s been feeding off a flower growing from dragon poo, you will either A. Grow a hand from your head…
(Devo mimicking a hand growing from his head.)

Or, B. Become a Cyclops!
(Devo pointing at diagram of; Weird bee + kid = and a hairy Cyclops.)

The End!
(Devo, smiling, chest out.)

(Class kids outside, huddled, terrified of a little bee.)

(Devo, head thrown back, crying to Cyclops Dad, holding a piece of paper with a circled ‘F’ on it.)

(Close up of pile of dragon poo, with upward spiralling jungle of weird plants growing from it, weird insects around it, tiny Jack running away with goose. Dragon in background, flying away.)

 

The End.