Day 326: The Owl Goes Hoot!

The Owl Goes Hoot
by
Matt Zurbo

 

(Boy stepping off of bus. Girl waiting on pushbike. Road sign says; ‘Bush’ and points to where bus is. ‘City’ and points to where it came from.)

Oh, oh, oh geez! You’re alive!
I thought you’d been eaten by dingos!
Or pirates!
School!?
Oh, how horrible!
Wow!
You’re alive!
Only gone 30 minutes!?!?!? It felt like weeks!!
Oh geez! That’s amazing!
I thought the world had ended!
Wow!
I’m so glad you’re back!
(Two dogs, excited to greet farm girl.)

Hey.
hey you. I’m cute.
You’re not mad I’m ruining your fan.
I’m cute.
You love it.
Rub my belly.
I might not eat you if you rub my belly.
Pfft.
(Boy on farm porch, looking up at cat that is clinging, upside down, to ceiling fan.)

Oh, look, a castle!
A crab!
Geez, what are you?
Oh, look, a castle!
A crab!
Geez, what are you?
Oh, look, a castle!
A crab!
Geez, what are you?
(Girl looking at goldfish in bowl on porch.)

I… am the most hansom spider on Earth!
(Boy looking up at spider on a line of web.)

Oh no, not another kid on my back!
Imagine if I was a Brumby!
Yeah!
I want to be a brumby!
You don’t see no brumbies with kids on their backs.
Give me a carrot.
(Younger girl on back of a small pony.)

Eat.
Scratch.
Sleep.
(Girl watching a wombat at her feet.)

You, yeah you.
I can’t remember your name.
Rub my belly.
Rub my belly and I might not eat you.
Now. Rub.
Pfft.
(Cat curling on back in front of boy.)

Duh…
(Bully, with slingshot.)

Hey, you. Yeah, you down there!
I’m the best!
Stay away from my nest! Away!
Wanna fight?
You do, don’t ya?
Stay away from my nest!
I’m the best!
Look! I got better feathers than you!
Yeah!
That’s it, keep walking!
Scared!
This is my nest! I’m the best!
(Boy, puzzled, looking back over shoulder as he walks at super small bird in tree.)

Oh, man! I’m so HUNGRY!
I’m – chomp, chomp – so…
Chomp, chomp, hungry…
Chomp, gah! More!
More!
Chomp! So… Burp!
Chomp! Slurp. Hungry…
(Boy, looking up close at caterpillar.) 

Rabbit…
Rabbit… rabbit…
Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit…
I wish I had hands.
If I had hands, I’d cook rabbit stew.
Rabbit…
(Eagle , graceful in sky.)

Wow! That was awesome!
That’s what desert should smell like!
Wow!
Do another one!
Go on! Just one!
So awesome!
Oh, yeah!
Could almost eat it!
Mm!
(Boy, shielding eyes as he looks up into sky. Doing a small fart. Dogs very excited, sniffing boy’s fart.)

Eagle!
No, it was just a bran- EAGLE!
OH! Only my shadow. I had-
EAGLE!
Fox! Dingo!
No, just the breeze. I…
Snake!
GAH! GIANT!
(Rabbit in front of girl.)

Hmph.
It’s not easy, being this cool.
Actually, it’s very easy.
For me.
I’m cool.
For you it would be a lot of work.
Which isn’t cool.
You’re not cool.
I’m cool.
Feed me.
Pfft.
(Girl looking at cat on branch of tree.)

Laughing?
Ha!
Laughing so hard I’m peeing!
Haha!
I’d be wetting my pants if I had any!
I mean… Haha!
Just look at… Haha!
Seriously… Haha!
You! Haha!
(Boy, digging carrots up, but eyes darting up to glare at laughing kookaburra.)

Don’t look at me!
I’m a tree! 
(Girl looking at goanna, camouflaged in tree.)

Hey, lady frogs!
Look at me!
I’m sexy!
I got a sexy voice!
Hey!
Want to go out with me?
Hey, sexy. I’m sexy!
Wow! Yeah…
Lady frogs! Hey!
(Tiny frog leaping ahead of boy’s foot.)

Hm. What wildlife shall I eat?
Maybe a lizard, or –
(Cat circling a lizard. Doesn’t see dingo about to eat cat.)

Wanna fight?
I’m tough.
I’m tougher!
Oh yeah?
Yeah!
Oh yeah!?
Yeah!
Stay away from my nest!
It’s my nest!
Yeah?
Oh yeah!
(Boy, puzzled, looking up at small bird, now joined by another. They seem to be singing to each other.)

Mum…! Mum…!?
I’m here! Where are you!?
Mum!
BABY!
MUM!
BABY!
Where are you!?
Oh no! I can’t find-
Help!
(Sheep and lamb back to back, bleating in paddock.)

Stop looking. I’m a tree.
(Rabbit running in front of girl, as she walks past tree with goanna.)

MUM! MUM! I – Oh. Grass.
Nom, nom, nom…
Chew, nom, chew…
(Sheep and lamb eating grass.)

Ho, ho, ho!
Hahaha!
Gaw, did you see…?
Ka, ka, ka! Look at…!
Koo, koo, koo!
So funny…
(Kookaburra on limb, joined by another.)

Sun.
Sun.
Sun.
Sun.
GAH! DON’T EAT ME!
(Small lizard, leaping in fright. Eyes bulging.)

Eat.
Scratch.
(Wombat still being wombat.)

Good night.
GOOD NIGHT.
Good Night.
Good night.
Good Night.
(Boy and girl standing next to each other, looking up. Every bird, insect, animal, is hiding, or curing up for the night.)

Hi.
(Owl face, leaning across view. Fills page.)

Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi…
(Boy looking up at owl on limb in dusk. Moon rising.)

Eat, scratch, eat, eat…
Ssshhh… There’s nothing to see…
Need light! Light hurt! Need Light! Light hurt!
Light! Ow! Light! Ow!
Hey….! Hey….! Hey….!
Oi! Look out! Oi! Where are you!? Where am I!? Watch it! Oi!
Don’t eat me! Don’t eat me! Don’t eat me!
Yo, girl frog! Yo, girl frog! Over here! Girl frog!
(Same view, but with kangaroo, fox, two moths by porch light, owl, bats, ringtail possum, frogs, etc…)

I love it.
It’s so peaceful out here…
(Close-up of boy’s face, looking up, smiling at the stars.)

 

 

The End…