Day 328: Barry the Bum Biting Bunyip

Barry the Bum Biting Bunyip
by
Matt Zurbo

For the Cuppos!


(Dad, putting fishing gear on, looking down as two kids make lots of noise play fighting beneath him.)

“You’d better watch out!” Dad said to Jesse and Rhys. “Barry is out tonight!”
(Dad’s face, full of fright.)

“Who’s Barry?” asked Jesse.
(Kids, looking puzzled.)

“He’s a Bunyip!” said Dad.
(Image of a bunyip.)

“And not just any bunyip. Barry is a bum biting bunyip!”
(Image of bunyip bending, big mouth open to bite down low.)

“What?”
“No way!”
“You’re off your rockers, Dad!” said Jesse and Rhys.
(Kids scoffing.)

“I’M TELLING YA!”
(Dad, eyes wide, hands stretched above head, wiggling.)

“If you want to come out tonight…”
(Bunyip biting, wombat leaping into the air, holding its bum.)

“While I perform my sacred ritual…”
(Bunyip’s head just in frame, jaw clamped from biting. Goanna leaping into air holding it’s bum.)

“If you make any noise…”
(Two crocodiles leaping into air, holding their bums.)

“It doesn’t matter how big or small you are…”
(Small bilby leaping into air, bunyip with massively open mouth behind it.)

“ANY noise…!”
(Koala, possum, kangaroo, emu, dingo, all leaping into the air, holding their bums…)

“The slightest peep…”
(Huge water buffalo leaping into air, holding it’s bum.)

“No one will be able to help…”
(Aboriginal man leaping into air holding his bum.)

“Barry, the bum biting bunyip will GET YA!”
(Bunyip lying back on tree stump, relaxed, hand on fat belly, burping.)

(Dad calmly walking with head torch and fishing gear, slight content smile on face, both kids wide-eyed with fright, clutching each other. Bunyip following them.)

(Dad, arms behind head, fishing hat over eyes, sleeping on fold-out chair while fishing on small billabong jetty. Kids still hugging each other in fright. Bunyip, casual, lying on branch above them.)

“Hang on!” whispered Jesse.
“Yeah,” quietly protested Rhys. “You just said all that so you could have some peace and quite while fishing!”
(Kids, annoyed expressions, Dad content smile, rope with fish over shoulder.)

“Well, maybe I did, and maybe I didn-“
(Dad looking smug, neither him or kids can see big bunyip bending to bite his bum.)

CHOMP!
(Just text.)

“YEOW!”
(Dad leaping into air, holding his bum.)

“That was the funniest!” whispered Jesse.
“Too right…!” quietly chuckled Rhys.
(Dad walking back in a huff, holding his bum. Bunyip behind him, holding fish in rope over open mouth. Giving Jesse a shoulder ride, while Rhys high five’s bunyip.)

 

 

The End

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