Marty P Farty
Marty went down to Old Man Hyder’s jetty,
(Kid walking onto tree surrounded, old, rickety jetty, with stick fishing rod and little book tucked under arm.)
threw in his line,
to catch a bowl of spaghetti.
What a waiter was doing down there,
not even Marty knew!
But still, he was not surprised,
when a dessert showed up, too!
(Kid looking over jetty edge. Hand, with white cuff, holding up spaghetti bolognese from water. Behind it, a bit lower, an ice-cream dessert is being held up by a hand of a different colour.)
“Okay,” he said, tummy full.
“Now, let’s catch some fish!”
And, ignoring his How to Fish book,
held out a lovely dish.
(Kid, licking lips, empty dessert plate, spaghetti still in bowl at feet, is bending to hold out plate over water.)
An octopus slithered up,
followed by a squid,
who sprayed a bit of ink,
all over Marty’s lid!
When the fish appeared,
Marty gave them water-filled goggles.
“I don’t want you to suffocate!
That would be plain awful!”
Next, he reeled in a deep sea diver,
using a tin can and string,
just to see what such a bloke,
might possibly bring.
(Diver rising from water. Him and Kid talking on tin can and string phone. Diver has old tire under arm. Fish, octopus and squid behind/gripping boy, watching.)
“How did you catch the giant crabs?”
the deep sea diver said.
“For a line I used,” Marty replied,
“my woollen jumper’s thread!”
(Diver on jetty with others. Kid almost down to undies, holding jumper thread, as giant crabs climb up it.)
An old washing machine, pelicans,
Marty even snagged a submarine!
“EAT a fish!?” he wailed.
“Why the thought’s OBSCENE!”
A spear fisherman leapt!
Marty called “LOOK OUT!”
And jumping up to thank him,
rose a school of flying trout!
(Kid, octopus amd pelican stopping spear fisherman. Everybody/thing else on jetty crowded, buffeted by action. Flying trout everywhere.)
A water dragon came
to check out all the fuss.
Marty lured it with bedtime tales,
of sorcery, blood and dust.
(Kid surrounded by all mentioned, reading picture book to dragon in water. Octopus gripping kid’s head in fear.)
A toasted egg and ham sandwich
lured a sailor, rusty and old
who played a happy saxophone,
and whispered adventures never told.
(Old sailor playing saxophone. Everybody crushing on jetty, dancing.)
Then Marty sang softly back,
to the sirens of the sea,
who came to see the hurt,
he had put out on the breeze.
(Kid, gripping jetty edge, leaning to water to sing, faces of all on jetty behind him, watching, as mermaids come.)
He dangled some treasure,
to lure Japanese pirate kin,
built a water slide,
so Vikings could join in.
(Jetty, pirate ships behind, Japanese pirates with others, watching people dancing with confusion. Jetty now dominated by Vikings on spiral slide. Crowd includes fly trapeze artists, penguins, a shark fin in water…)
Last and best of all,
Marty stretched out each and every finger,
to scratch the belly of,
a most mysterious creature.
(Everybody watching Kid bend over edge to scratch the belly of creature we can’t see upside down in water.)
The walrus was big, a king of his clan.
He flopped up on the jetty,
said hello, in his own way,
then feasted on the spaghetti!
(Huge walrus on jetty, chest out, Kid on its shoulders. Empty bowl in front of it. Many falling off overcrowded jetty.)
Marty thought of a photo,
for himself more than proof,
but was too busy dealing with,
a crocodile’s sore tooth!
Then, penguins bolted from the walrus,
while the mermaids tried to eat,
the crew of the submarine,
as well as the pirate fleet!
(Action causing kid to drop camera towards water. Fish under it with open mouth.)
Flying fish bounced about,
The crocodile attacked a shark!
The old sailor played his music
way too loud and fast!
The spear fisherman tried again,
a circus juggler rocked up!?
The octopus juggled him,
the jetty had run amuck!
Then a storm rose.
THUNDER! LGHTENING! BOOM!
Everybody shook, scared of
their impending doom.
(Everybody and thing bolting from dark, lightening skies except boy, Viking, walrus and a few penguins, who are all nervously looking up.)
Each and every one and thing,
was washed off and away,
except little Marty,
as stubborn as long days!
(Storm blowing sideways, Kid sheltering behind walrus, others blowing away.)
When the storm was done,
all that was really left,
was Marty and a silly book,
full of useless facts.
(Kid is on the end of jetty, tossing book over shoulder while watching the walrus slide back into water.)
No-one was going to believe,
the type of things Marty caught,
or how and why he did it,
which suited him, of course!
(Kid walking away, stick/fishing rod over shoulder, whistling. Behind him, small crabs are reading fishing book with great interest.)