The Kid Ghosts Were Scared Of
Oscar walked to Spooktown,
it was a real mess.
Ghosts were everywhere,
causing horror and distress.
In front of him five ghouls,
were fighting tooth and nail,
to win the right to fright
the only kid who hadn’t set sail.
“At last, you’ve arrived!”
Mayor Bumblebum said.
“With all this haunting going on,
I might soon be dead!”
“Is it true that nice little you,
are the kid that all ghosts fear?
You seem too sweet to achieve such feats,
even with a spear!”
“A spear, indeed, of all things”
“With an attitude like that,
I see where your problem lies.”
“There is one ghost, who is the most
meanest awful thing:
Mayor Bumblebum whispered:
as if declaring sin.
“At first we went to the police,
who mostly soiled their pants.
The army fared no better –
they didn’t stand a chance!”
“Next, we tried two atheists,
to dissipate his cruel heart.
If they refused to believe in him,
Rumbleguts might soon depart.”
“Obviously it did not go well,
the atheists both converted!
Rumbleguts must go,
or our town will be deserted.”
“Last we tried exorcists!
Mayor Bumblebum confessed.
“They shouted lots,
I CURSE YOU OUT!
GET THEE HENCE!
raging without rest.”
“Oh, the fools!” Oscar thought.
“Anger only begets more anger,
and a ghost is, by far,
already angrier than a badger.”
Oscar entered the Mayor’s office,
to find Rumbleguts eating a cat,
then doing a big fart,
and spitting at a rat!
“Have you come to challenge me?”
the ghost did howl and moan.
“I’ll make you poo your pants,
and then I’ll haunt your home!”
“Wow, that’s amazing!”
Oscar breathed, in awe.
“Let’s sit down and talk,” he said,
gently closing the door.
“So you’re the kid ghosts are scared of?”
Rumbleguts asked with an evil laugh.
“I’m afraid that’s true,” Oscar confessed.
“Now tell me where your problems start…”
“Humans make me so mad!”
Rumbleguts ranted and raved.
“Me too, me too!” Oscar agreed.
“Some don’t deserve to be saved!”
“They did me wrong, hung me high,”
“I was innocent!
Now my soul is bent and without rest!”
“I hate it when that happens!”
Oscar gave his lament.
“I’m sick to death of humans,
who think they’re Heaven sent.”
Gradually, scary Rumbleguts,
began to feel at ease,
hanging out with Oscar,
casually shooting the breeze.
Before the ghoulie knew it,
he began to melt away.
Anger was what kept him going,
all that made his spirit stay.
“No, no, no, wait!” he roared,
desperate to stay mad.
But Oscar just gave him a smile
that made the ghost feel glad.
“Aww…” Rumbleguts purred,
as he began to fade away,
beaten by a friendly kid
who listened to what he had to say.
Oscar then walked into the street,
to take on all the rest.
“Rumbleguts is gone,” he called.
“Sorry, I did it, it was for the best.”
Oscar then hugged a zombie,
patiently listened to an old witch,
helped and evil spirit soar,
saved a drunk lying in a ditch.
The ghosts and ghouls weren’t silly,
they left Spooktown real quick!
Scared out of their hollow souls,
of a boy who’s niceness was no trick.
“Bravo!” Mayor Bumblebum cried,
from within his hiding spot.
“You can move to Spooktown,
now the ghosts have all racked off!”
Oscar put a big, pointy tack
on the mayor’s seat,
then, as Bumblebum sat on it,
fled (with his pay) down the street.
The thing that made Oscar so scary
to the ghoulies and the ghosts,
was that the boy liked them,
more than normal folks.
So if you have a ghost problem,
just whistle down the line,
and hope the nice, creepy boy,
gets to your town in time!