Babies Shouldn’t Race Rockets
Dad works as a janitor. It’s not much of a job.
(Dad sweeping floor of rocket hanger, baby is sitting, playing with toy rocket. Most rockets have some sort of face. Including a robot rocket – Welcome to include robot rocket maintenance crew working in background)
But he gets to see rocket racers up close.
(Rocket races, big chins, chests out, confident expressions, strutting this way and that and climbing into rockets. Dad and baby watching in awe)
And racing rockets!!!
(Cluster of rockets racing in same direction, teeth clenched, determined expressions on rockets)
(Dad, looking like he’s in love as disdainful rocker racer signs some dunny paper for him. Behind them, baby is climbing ladder to rocket cockpit)
(Baby hands in mouth, looking at a hundred knobs, control lights and leavers)
(Rocket taking off, baby copping g-force)
Babies can’t fly rockets!
(Rocket shooting all around hanger, bouncing off things. Dad and rocket racer ducking and jumping)
Babies can’t race rockets!
(Rockets at starting line, angry, determined. Baby, smiling, and it’s rocket, zooming past them and man with flag still held up)
Hey, Baby’s found the radio!
(Baby, rocket, commentators and crowd dancing)
And the doo-hickey-thingy.
(All sorts of gadgets popping out, including one extension arm with a watering can, and one underneath it with an umbrella, and baby’s spring loaded seat bouncing above the rocket, mirror ball, headlights)
Waaaahhhh! Wait… What is it? Are you injured?
(Close up of baby crying loud…)
(Pit stop. Extension arms holding baby up, changing nappy, third arm holding stinky, filled old nappy. Rocket bored, has clothes clip on nose)
Babies shouldn’t mess with space aliens!
(As you see fit)
(Aliens using a sling shot with baby and rocket in it)
Babies don’t win rocket races!
(Baby and rocket bouncing and smashing off and through everything and crossing the finish line before other, determined rockets)
(Crowd and commentators ducking and flying through the air as rocket, out of control, carries on. Baby is wide-eyed, just hanging on. Dad is in the crowd, running after rocket, arms out as if ready to catch baby)
Babies don’t understand breaks!
(Rocket crashing into statue of alpha rocket racer. Baby thrown clear, falling, happily, into Dad’s arms)
(Everybody cheering, as baby on winner’s platform, is sucking on edge of big trophy)
Okay, it seems you’ve inspired others! Lets have some baby rocket races!
(A line up of sitting babies in various rocket gear, and op shop bits, way too big for them, helmets over eyes, sucking thumbs, etc… Main baby walking by them like the Queen inspecting her troops)
(Rockets all flying in every direction from starting line. Starting line man is covering his eyes)
(Double page spread of white background, rockets going everywhere, ripping through page, going off page, setting page on fire. First baby and Dad (with mop and bucket) are at the bottom, looking up at it all happen)
I told you! Babies shouldn’t race rockets!
(Dad cleaning up big mess, baby in baby cot, trying to reach over, playing with toy rocket)