Day 103: Bat Spelling

Bat Spelling
by
Matt Zurbo

(Boy and girl walking, boy carrying heavy bowling ball.)

(Boy trips, ball falls downward.)

Watch out bellow!
(Boy and girl, looking about nervously, but not down, as they shout at the top of their lungs!)
“Ow!” 
(Voice from below)

Spelling is important. The real word is “below”, not “bellow”.
(Boy looking down, in direction ball fell. Girl looking at reader/narrator, pointing to ground, annoyed!)
I don’t car!

(Tail-end of passing car, kids whirling through air.)

What if when you spelled something wrong, things had to stay that way?
(Kids sitting on ground, dusting off, looking, a bit baffled at reader/narrator.)

I’d love to go to the pizza ship!
(Boy talking. Both kids eating pizza outside a huge ship with pizzas everywhere.)

Look! Fig dinosaurs!
(Girl looking up, pointing at air. Boy scratching puzzled head, looking at small dinosaurs made out of figs.)

Nonono! BIG dinosaws!
(Girl angrily face palming. Two human sized dinosaurs using a big cross saw.)

Aww… Fired hydrant.
(Fire hydrant with skinny legs, only a drip coming out, walking away, dejected, as angry fireman points ‘get out of here’)

I hat bullies!
(Three bullies with oversized hats – baseball cap, bowler hat, magicians hat, coming down to their noses.)

Not as much as they hat us!
(Bullies carrying two kids in upturned hats. We can only see their feet.)

I wish I could play a musical implement.
(Boy has mouth open in dentist’s chair, dentist using drill on him. Drill is making musical note. Girl has a jackhammer, that is making a vibrating musical note.)

Haha! And a one and a tow and a…
(Boy arms up, about to play drums, startled as they are towed away.)

A cymbal of our love.
(Boy, holding out flowers, vibrating head to toe as girl bashes huge cymbals in front of him.)

You lock good!
(Boy holding out flowers to girl who is dressed ball gown, picking a lock.)

Hey! That’s how wars cart!
(Girl pulling cart with three soldiers crammed into it. Boy telling her off.)

You need fart classes…
(Girl telling boy, who is drawing stick figure on board. Both of them farting. Him little, her like a Boss!)

Sorry, I meant art glasses!
(Boy wearing glasses covered in mermaids and fruit, etc…)

I mean ant passes…
(Boy bowing to ants as they pass. Girl, furious, one fist clenched at side, the other holding her mouth.)

ART! CLASSES!
(Girl screaming! In front of her is a painting on an easel. Beside that are three people. Boy dressed in rags, with a broom. Man in nice shirt with a doctor’s outfit on, Overweight, rich man at end.)

Gah! All this bat spelling!
(Bat, with talk balloon saying: A B C. Boy and girl’s head at bottom of page, looking up.)

Fetch the sick…!
(Kid holding stick, throwing up. Dog looking confused.)

Good dig, Fido!
(Dog with stick in mouth, poking head out of big hole it has dug. Girl politely doing little pats on its head, Mum in background, hand to mouth, horrified.)

Fido is they’re dog!
What?
I mean there!
Where?
(Owners with lead puzzled, standing next to boy pointing away. Dog confused, too.)

Let’s part with a broad mile.
(Boy with smile that runs off face, filling length of page. Girl ducking it.)

Fart with a board smile.
(Girl farting, holding up wood with smile painted on it over her mouth. Boy marching off.)

Sorry, once more: Why is smelling so import ant?
(Girl, peg on nose, calling out to where boy left, life-sized matchbox boat with ants on it arriving.)

The bEnd
(Written on a bent road sign.)