Day 152: The Kamikaze Chook

The Kamikaze Chook
Matt Zurbo


Farmer Brown had a lot of chooks.
(Solid, grumpy farmer, chooks all around him, but also in cages behind him.)
He wasn’t nice to them.

Most ended up as food.
(Chooks being loaded onto truck of chicken company. Farmer counting his money.)

But Kamikaze Chook was something different!
(Crazy-eyed chook with only a few tatty feathers.)
“BWARK! They aren’t going to eat me!” she clucked

“BANZAI!” she squawked, which was kamikaze for the word ‘charge!’.
(Chook charging, blowing over farmer from behind, dog, and a goose.)

(Chook charging the house flowerbed.)

(Chook dipping and kissing startled rooster.)

(Chook charging barbecue, knocking all the food on it into the air, including roasted chooks. Farmers all ruffled, food and drinks everywhere.)

“Crazy chook!” Farmer Brown growled.
(Chook having burst through the fence, charging into the distance. Ruffled Farmer Brown watching it go. Duck thrown into the air. Pig, too.)

“BWARK! I’m going to change the world for us hens!” Kamikaze Chook squawked.
(Chook walking along country road, with stick with belongings over shoulder.)

The open road was great for a while.
(Chook walking towards roadhouse, hippy hitchhiking in background. Trucks in carpark.)

But soon enough…
“BWARK! You serve roast WHAT for lunch!?”
(Chook rocketing through roadhouse. Attendant lady arms thrown in air, products, coffees, and lots of roasted chooks and chicken sandwiches in the air.)

Back on the road, a fox appeared.
It had all sorts of dead animals on its breath.
(Sly looking fox, black breath with white skeletons of all sorts of birds, wombats, lizards, etc…)

“Want to be my friend?” it asked.
Some creatures would say yes, others would run.
Not Kamikaze Chook!
(Chook charging, fox upside down, flying through air.)

Then there were the dogs.
And the bullies!
(Chook charging, sending bullies and dogs, startled, flying through the air.)

They’re still looking for the cat!
(Chook charging, Cat in front of it, back legs spinning, front reaching away as it tries to run like a cartoon character.)

Kamikaze chook even made the local news.
“There have been reports of a lone wolf chook who-“
(Telly screen showing chook pecking the head of newsman in suit, while sound man is running, away protecting head.)

Soon, Kamikaze Chook was famous!
(Farmer, breakfast on table – a boiled egg – a few chooks standing about, is reading a newspaper with the front page headline: Have You Seen This Chook? And a photo of chook, neck stretched, eyes goggled, looking at viewer.)

“Best I go find that chook,” Farmer Brown said.
(Farmer on tractor on highway, causing traffic jam, looking for chook.)

Finally, Farmer Brown found Kamikaze Chook at a milk bar.
(Chook with sunnies on –disguise – sitting having a milkshake with farmer.)
“Come back, it’s boring without you,” he said. “Even if you break everything.”

“Cluck, cluck! Not a chance,” said Kamikaze Chook. “There’s a frozen chicken factory I want to charge.”
(Farmer and chook looking out window, at big chicken processing factory, with same label as was on the truck from earlier. Lots of the same sort of truck entering.)

“You’ll never make it,” said Farmer Brown. “Come home. I even treat the chooks better now. We’re free range!”
(Chook, sunnies off, marching forward, determined Farmer calling after it.)
“BWARK, BWARK! Just because I can’t win a fight, doesn’t mean I should give up,” Kamikaze Chook clucked. “I don’t have to win, I have to try.”

“Well, good luck,” said Farmer Brown.
(Farmer and chook hugging good-bye.)

And Kamikaze chook braced herself,
and thought of all the bad things that happen to chooks…
(Chook, facing reader, marching, determined glare in eyes.)

Thought of foxes, cats…
(Closer, same expression.)

cages, barbecues…
(Close up of face, those determined eyes.)

(Chook charging down hills towards factory.)

(Chook charging towards factory wall.)

(View of factory. No change, just a small puff of feathers near the wall.)

(Farmer standing, sad, hat over heart.)

When Farmer Brown got home there was a letter waiting for him.
“It’s from that crazy chook…” he mumbled, and read.

“I’m sure the chook factory is still working. That no-one will remember me. There will be no statues…” the note said.
(Chook factory and its workers doing their thing – but if you look hard there are small clusters of white objects behind factory boxes, etc…)

Just another crazy chook, they’ll say.”
(Closer look at white objects. Might be eggs.)

“But I’ve been leaving little surprises everywhere I went.”
(Eggs around back of roadhouse. Lady taking garbage out doesn’t see them. Some are hatching.)

(Eggs behind dog kennel, crazy little chicks, just like/as ugly as Kamikaze Chook, poking heads up from shells.)

(Eggs behind farmer’s feet are starting to crack.)

“Banzai? Farmer Brow said. “I wonder what it meant by that?”
(Farmer in his kitchen, scratching his head. Little crack, crack, chirp, chirp sounds coming from beneath him.)

(Farmer ducking, protecting himself as baby kamikaze chicks fly everywhere.)


The End

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