Fungal Frenzy!
by
Matt Zurbo
One day Tommy found a guitar,
said: “Right, this will do!”
And practiced until his fingers
were blistered black and blue.
(Double necked 70s guitar.)
Then he added a wazoo,
(Other kid in propeller hat, and goggles, playing a wazoo)
A Kabloo-flue!
And an air powered Vootie-Boo!
(Weird nonsensical instruments with little steam valves, tubes, etc…, played by two more kids, one in top hat, one in Where the Wild Things Are onesie.)
“What a sound!” people said.
It really bent and warped their heads!
“Heavy Metal Fantasy!” they wailed,
as Tommy’s band rocked out his shed!
(People walking left and right, turning heads to dig the sound. Some falling backwards.)
They practiced real hard,
to make their video shine,
but special effects were old news,
Tommy wanted something special,
something prime!
(Band surrounded by other kids holding up paper-cut-outs of aliens ships.. Band dressed in funny hats and vests, looking silly,/dejected. Dad filming. A kid is holding the boom.)
(Band, dejected, covered in clingy monkeys. Zoo keepers with Boo.)
(Band, playing in front of big fan, so powerful they have to lean into it. Drummer is just hanging on. Dad is filming.)
“It’s such a unique sound,
only a new look clip will do,”
Tommy said to the Wazoo player,
a strange kid called Stew.
So they searched and practiced,
not caring to brush teeth or bathe.
Their socks soon stunk, armpits too,
the mess was kind of grave!
(Kids playing instruments, apps and leads everywhere, flopped about the lounge, legs dangling off couch, etc. Little sister, about 5-6, watching.)
All the while Tommy’s sister, Boo,
had a cunning plan,
to turn the fact they were slobs
into something grand.
The fridge at Tommy’s room,
was quite the disgrace –
rotting food, mould, fungus ,
growing all over the place.
“My science project,” Boo thought aloud.
“While giving my brother a hand.
Then set about helping him,
with his Heavy Metal Fantasy band.
(Boo poking head into disgusting fridge.)
Boo borrowed a projector,
emptied the fridge of all its goo and grime,
the strange, sticky bits,
well and truly past their prime.
(Boo carrying armful of rotting things from fridge towards projector.)
“Wah!” Tommy freaked out.
“Woh! Hey!” Stew protested,
surrounded by giant images
of everything that festered.
(Alien shapes, globs with tentacles, goo with ten eyes, several mouths on top of strange creatures…)
It was so weird,
it was so gross,
alien enough to cause a fit!
Among microscopic monsters,
the band played all their hits.
Soon a video was made,
in a jungle of the bizarre.
“A new look for our new sound!”
Tommy wailed on his guitar.
(Dad filming. Band amongst weird, alien-like globs, creatures, floating shapes. People of the neighbourhood dancing. Sister fighting off one of the creatures.)
Next Boo magnified bed bugs,
then all kinds of skin mite.
Each one more alien than the last,
giving wonder, giving frights!
(Research them, They are super weird, with three heads and ten legs and all sorts of bizarre.)
Tommy’s Heavy Metal Fantasy
was at last complete.
“Cut!” Boo let out a cheer.
as the crowd retreat.
(Band, exhausted, walking towards Boo.)
“Its scary to think!” Tommy pondered,
“Such beauty and horror in our everyday.”
Then; “Boy I sure am hungry!
“What is there to eat, anyway?”
(Sister looking dumbfounded, as band hunch over rotten food, devouring it.)
(Sister, disgusted expression on face, looking at reader, as brother and band flop about couches, etc, open-mouthed sleeping, hands on full bellies. One is burping at ceiling.)
The End.