Hi. This is Baby Cryalot.
Her mum just put her to bed.
(Bawling, tears falling everywhere.)
But she wants to stay up.
(Tears flooding the room. The bed and toys are floating.)
Don’t open that door!
(Mum and Dad being swept from door by flood of tears, Bed floating on wave of tears down the stairs, baby on top crying.)
Fortunately, the cat can swim!
(Cat in bathers, and towel.)
And the dog.
(Flippers, boogie board and floaty tyre.)
And Mum and Dad!
(Mum and Dad under water in kitchen, using snorkels. Floating bed with crying baby above them.)
At least the fish are happy!
(Fish bowl under water. Fish swimming outside it.)
Oh-ho, Baby Cryalot is getting angry now…
(Red face, screaming, tears still running down cheeks)
(Baby crying, is blowing the hair back of Heavy Metal band. Drummer is being blown off his stool. Lead singer is handing onto microphone stand for dear life.)
(Thieves being blown back from window/off ladder.)
(Windows on plane breaking.)
That’s it Mum and Dad, resist!
(Mum and Dad in their seats, Mum reading, Dad watching telly. They have earphones on. Big letters WWAAAHHHHHH, rumbling along behind them. Everything rattling.)
Too bad about the neighbours.
(Whole heap of couples and families, no background, in pajamers, exhausted, puffy-eyed faces.)
Oh no! Hick-ups!
(Night, neighbourhood houses shaking. Above them is the sound: WWAAHHH hick! WWAAHHH hick! WWAAHHH hick!)
(Baby falling flat in cot, small puff of smoke, snoring. Parents, dog and cat, exhausted, standing blank faced.)
Fifteen minutes later…
(White page, small image of sun rising.)
(Same image as just before of cot with deadpan/sleepless parents and animals. Baby is yawning, walking.)
You’re lucky your so cute, Baby Cryalot!
(Happy baby playing, Mum and Dad scruffy, baggy-eyed zombies.)